Why Are Some Women Destined To Remain Single?

Why Are Some Women Destined To Remain Single?

“There’s No Good Men Out There” is getting old. If everyday there are new happy relationships being formed, what’s the chances it’s really about the quality of men? Look, I get it. Of course there are some guys who are jerks, but the operative word is “some”. Not every guy is a cheater, a player or emotionally unavailable. Not every guy is a flake or lacks class. Not every guy is looking for a one night stand. Not every guy is broke seeking a sugarmama. Not every guy is hung up on an ex. And, not every guy is like your ex. In fact, most guys are pretty hard working, decent men who seek loving companionship. Yes, there are some guys who are all of the above, but most men are good guys.

Could it be that something else is going on?

Every week I meet or speak to fantastic women who are attracting love into their lives. In fact the other day I spoke to a woman in her 70’s who met the second love of her life after her husband died. Can you believe it, she found love in her seventies. She had one simple principle she followed when she began dating. Her internal voice kept saying “I love men”. Everyday she would say it over and over, “I love men”. She told me she loved everything about men, they way they smelled, they way they looked and even the way they acted. She loved men.

Now she also told me that “being the best I can be” is how she lives her life. Exercise, reading books, nurturing friendships, spending time with family and healthy eating habits is vitally important to her and her life. She felt being the best she can be would be attractive to men and she was right. Her guy is attracted to who she is on the inside and her zest for life. By the way, she looks great on the outside too.

Speaking to a 70 year old woman can really give you perspective (something about life experience and wisdom which I find very attractive). She told me that most women today are just bad daters even the women her own age. She said that they either have a chip on their shoulder, they believe men are bad, they think sex is how you win a man over, they don’t feel good about themselves to be in relationship or they really don’t know what they want. Now you might be thinking, hey she’s an older woman with limited choices and what does she know anyway. Well that’s one way to look at it, but she found love and that’s what really matters… right?

Let’s face it, we all want love and while I agreed with her that many women are bad daters, most women have so much going for themselves and just need a little help when it comes to dating, mating & relating. In fact, for most women finding love is just a matter of time.

Dating can be like the lottery and sometimes it just takes buying a ticket (or going out on dates) before you get a winner. With the lottery, every play produces multiple winners from a jackpot to small prizes and there are lots of winners. Dating can be much like the lottery and you must buy a ticket to win.

So let me ask you, is the reason why some women are single: A) there are no good men out there, B) they are just bad daters or C) not going out on dates?

Personally, I think it’s just a matter of timing and if you approach dating with a positive attitude, be the best you can be and go out on dates your chances of finding a loving relationship has much better odds.

So what’s the real reason why some women are destined to remain single?

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11 Responses to Why Are Some Women Destined To Remain Single?

  1. wendy February 8, 2013 at 4:55 pm #

    Jonathon, I think this is a really grounded upbeat article & as you always say, what you see is what you get…ATTITUDE COUNTS…get rid of any negative energy & thoughts So does being your best self inside & out & approaching dating like a wonderful adventure without limitations nor expectations!! Wonderful to know with all the competition out there women in their 70’s are still finding love!!

  2. Ninah February 8, 2013 at 5:29 pm #

    I would like to add that a lot of women don’t really know what they want ( they focus more on who is available than what would fit them)

  3. Camille February 8, 2013 at 5:57 pm #

    I have asked myself this question many times, because I am single and don’t want to be. I have many friends in two separate categories right now: many newly married or in new relationships, and these are good, evolved relationships, and also girlfriends or colleagues who are single and can’t figure out why. My single friends are all good people, but as it relates to men, they can be very negative and cynical. They find lots of fault with men, generally. There’s always something wrong. They are basically closed to the idea of finding a man at all. I think it is because there’s something within themselves they don’t accept. I believe the world is a mirror, a reflections of ourselves. We get what we put out. I think it has something to do with our own self worth. Where am I not feeling strong enough to put myself out there? One has to extend oneself to meet people. I think this is the key. It’s within me, not out there in the men that’s the problem. I personally know many great men right now, but if I am not aware and leading with the greatness in myself, my eyes are not open to what’s possibly right before my eyes.

  4. Mary February 9, 2013 at 5:32 am #

    I am a young widowed mom. I agree with attitude. I cannot afford a sitter to go out. When I had gone out in the past I was deeply hurt from cheaters and men who didn’t want a woman with child. So at 70 you can go out but what do you do when you have a small child and are trying to survive? I’d love to be in love again with a man who could love my child too and be ok with my busy days and nights. Is that possible?

  5. Kathy Scott Perry February 9, 2013 at 6:20 am #

    Jonathon, this is such a great article. It really hits the nail on the head. I particularly like the womans affirmation. I think I will make an addition and say, “I love men, and they love me” ( and then under my breath, “I love myself too”. Thank you Jonathon!

  6. Flo Stash February 9, 2013 at 8:08 am #

    Where did the woman in your story meet all these wonderful men? I, too, work hard to be the best I can be. I eat right, excercise, take classes, travel, have beauty treatments, stay thin and healthy etc.
    However, I find that most of the men in my age bracket don’t do the same thing. 40% of them could shed 25 pounds and lose the pot bellies. Many of them have heavy facial hair to cover wrinkles. They dress “down” and I mean down. Two dinner dates I recently had: One came in baggy shorts and dirty white trainers. Another came in long pants, but with a oversized tee shirt and flip-flops. I had spent some time to get ready and look pretty, showing respect for my date, In return, I got flip-flops!!! And don’t get me started on personalities. When was the last time you spent a whole evening talking about someone’s back problems, knee problems, prostate problems? Boring!!! Or how about listening to fantasies about bedding a supermodel. Yes, it has happened to me. Just imagine!!! Maybe men don’t realize that when they get older, they have to spend more time on their presentation and appearance, not less time.
    All the dating information out there is for women. Do men have any responsibility to be the best they can be for us? Do you think I should “settle”?

  7. Cin February 9, 2013 at 5:22 pm #

    I so agree with Flo. I love men however I do think they should try to color their hair for example or still try to look good after age 40. There are so many hair treatments for men so that they still can have hair. I do wish many could b aware of all this.

  8. Lisa February 10, 2013 at 3:25 pm #

    Really? You want a man to color his hair? How about accepting him and loving him for who he is, not what his surface looks like? Yes, I want to date a man who takes care of himself and who presents himself well, but there are some pretty fabulous guys out there who consider closed toes shoes dressed up and men with thinning gray hair or none at all. How can I expect a man to love the fullness of who I am if I am not willing to do the same for them. Will they leave me if I decided to stop coloring my hair one day or my thyroid goes beserk and I gain 40 lbs? Probably not. But the guy who is overly concerned about looking good for other people will.

  9. Kim February 20, 2013 at 3:09 pm #

    I am divorced a couple years after divorce of 24 year marriage. I think it is difficult to find men in my age range, 50, who are active and fit, and have the things you speak of, the 5 C’s. I tell myself I havent found the right one yet is all, but really would like to be in a relationship.

    I have tried online sites, etc but attraction isn’t something I often find. My friends say I am too picky…am I?

  10. Janice March 9, 2013 at 4:39 pm #

    What we focus on, we create. Keep positive, focus positive and positive will eventually come. :) Great article Jonathan.

  11. The Truth August 19, 2013 at 6:33 am #

    well with so many women nowadays that think they are all that with their high paying jobs, that would do it. just too many high maintenance women out there today, especially the ones with the attitude problem which many of them seem to have lately.

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