To Text or Not to Text… That is the Question

To Text or Not to Text… That is the Question

bigstock-Bored-woman-texting-on-her-mob-44747404You’re staring at your cell phone, wondering why he hasn’t texted you back.

You text him a second time, just to see what he’s up to. Maybe he didn’t get the first text.

Still no answer after 20 minutes. You’re wondering what he’s doing, and your brain starts working overtime…

Is he out with another girl?

Is he lying hurt somewhere?

Is he at the bar with the boys?

Is he mad at you, or is he ignoring you on purpose?

What’s going on, dammit?

It’s driving you nuts and you’re not sure what to do.

It’s OK, and everything will be fine—but you need to know a couple of things about men and texting.

First, to a lot of men, texting is simply a pain in the ass. It’s not that we don’t want to contact you. Many of us simply don’t enjoy texting, and we really don’t like being put on the spot and expected to text back right away.

So my first big hint to you is don’t keep texting if you don’t hear from him right away. You’ve texted once, give him a chance to respond.

Second, we aren’t always as attached to our phones as you are. Sometimes we get the text, and something else comes up we need to take care of. We have the best intentions to text you back, and sometimes we simply forget or get caught up in other things. It happens.

What I’m saying is that your guy’s slow texting habits have nothing to do with you 99% of the time. Here are a few other reasons we might not text back right away that have nothing to do with you:

  • The phone is charging, or we left it in the car.
  • We’re talking on the phone when you text, and then we forget to check for texts after we hang up.
  • We might be busy at work or doing something around the house / with our children / with our family.
  • It’s Saturday morning and we have plans, we’re texting other people about them, and your text gets lost in the shuffle.
  • Maybe we just don’t feel like communicating with anyone at the time.
  • We’re taking a nap and have the phone on vibrate.
  • We’re at a buddy’s house watching sports, and the TV is up loud so we don’t hear the text come through.

So how can you handle his texting habits without going nuts?


That’s all you need to do. He will text you back—it might take some time, but if you freak out and keep texting him, you’re going to irritate him. Then he might really ignore you.

And again, don’t keep texting him if he takes a while to answer. Send a text, wait for his response, then text again.

Assume he has the best intentions.

We aren’t out to make you mad, but we do have our own way of doing things that might be different from the way you do things. Not wrong, just different. Yes, some guys are inconsiderate, but most of us aren’t. Give him the benefit of the doubt—he really is doing the best he can.

Don’t read too much into any single text.

Women like to text longer sentences, while men try to keep it short and get the point across. Sometimes our brevity causes problems, but don’t over-analyze text messages. If a guy simply says “K” or “OK”, it doesn’t mean he’s upset, it means whatever you said was okay with him. Men are direct and say what they mean. If he says, “Talk to you later,” that’s what he means. He doesn’t have a hidden meaning or agenda. He’ll talk or text later.

As always, when you’re dealing with men, keep it simple, don’t over think things, and be patient. Nowhere is this truer than in texting. Relax!

As a side note, please share your thoughts about sexting as well?

, , , , ,

4 Responses to To Text or Not to Text… That is the Question

  1. Nancy August 7, 2013 at 8:26 pm #

    Thank you, Jonathon – I appreciate a guy’s perspective. I seek to understand and, in that understanding, there is peace, harmony — and more smiles! :-)

  2. Jonathon September 29, 2013 at 5:13 am #

    Thank you Nancy, happy to have helped and a smile :) right back at ya.

  3. Adryanna November 14, 2013 at 10:42 pm #

    Thanks, seriously! I was ahead of it already by being patient and not textin back but I was almost on the verge of texting him and soundin like a crazy woman!

  4. Elena January 20, 2014 at 7:46 pm #

    Thank you so much:))

    When I text and don’t get a respond I simply leave it alone. There’s times I feel like a crazy women over thinking on why he hasn’t text me back. I hold my ground and not text him again. It took a lot time and patience. But I’m getting and starting to relax .

Leave a Reply